|Posted on April 26, 2016 at 8:20 AM|
David Bowie changed my life. As a teenager, I would listen to a cassette tape I had of Ziggy Stardust as I laid out in the back yard tanning. The song Moonage Daydream was one that always got me into the outer limits. I would imagine I was floating in space, far above the world, gathering up dust and particles, landing on foreign planets, tiptoeing around alien worlds. The sheer bliss I’d feel in his lyrics and music would transport me across the Universe a million gazillion miles from home here on Earth. I’d interact with interstellar beings of a variety of colors, sizes and species, chilling out on my lounge chair, eyes closed, glazed in a slick coconut smelling haze of suntan lotion. These days were numbered, I knew it. There was an awareness of the fleeting nature of youth. I would look at my tanned arms, my hands, my thighs, and I’d appreciate the softness, the tightness, the firmness and imagine that I could stay like that forever, but knowing it would change over time.
These aliens, they could live as they wished, never having to be in a place for too long. These places where we would travel had so much to offer. Apple trees that grew long and low, capable of holding me in an embrace as I lunched on its delicacies. Look at me now! Where am I? In a hospital bed, feeling so out of touch. And here I am! And I grabbed my phone and thank God for WiFi and YouTube and Jay Pee for posting Ziggy Stardust the entire album! Right here at my fingertips! How sweet is it to be immersed in my headphones, the soft hum of my roommates rhythmic snoring leaking through as I see lights flashing and fluorescent glows, capped and gowned people shuffling with latex and needles and cups and more needles. All following each other around with wrist bands and IV’s and moans and groans and silent TV’s flashing another episode of Law and Order. No sunlight, no fresh air. I grasp for a piece of fresh fruit, a whole fruit, to connect me back to something real, something colorful and flavorful. This place is not.
“Five Years” just ended. A brief commercial then “Soul Love” begins playing. Ah, David, why did you have to leave this Earth so early? Only 69 years young. You should have stayed longer, my love. I never thought I’d feel this way, but since your departure earlier this year, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, more than a fan would. Because while I loved your music and you, I never really felt like this before about any artist. And while I lie here in this bed, sitting up now feverishly typing, amazed at the inspired words leaping from my fingers, I’m crying, deep and hard, sobbing really for you. For what you meant to me. Maybe I’m just emotional. “Reaching up my loneliness evolves by the blindness that surrounds him”. “Inspiration have I none, just to touch the flaming dove. All I have is my love of love and love is not loving.”
I’m doing a lot of crying today. Started this morning.
That guitar! Bar-na-na… “I’m an alligator!!!” Bar-na-na…. “I’m a momma poppa coming for you! I’m a space invader. I’ll be a rock n rolling bitch for you!!” Here it is my favorite song!! “Keep your electric eye on me babe. Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine love. Freak out in a moon age daydream oh yeah. Don’t fake it baby Lay the real thing on me. The church of man loves us. It’s such a holy place to be. Make me baby, Make me know you really care. Make me jump into the air.”
Early this morning, I walked down from my room to the Family support room around the corner, just to get a little bit of privacy. I brought my mala beads, angel cards, crystals, White Angelica essential oil blend, and a notebook so I could sit and try to connect with my friends, all my buddies with the wings and the halos. These beings that I channel, they are my friends. But while I’ve been here, I couldn’t feel the connection. I just couldn’t get in the vibration. It’s bugging me, so I found some space. I took a moment. I cried and pleaded with Archangel Raphael to fix me. He found me a friend; right outside the room I was using to meditate. This beautiful young man with a green shirt wheeling around a cart full of cleaning supplies made the connection. His name is Ty and he gave me the mantra: Nam myoho renge kyo. It’s from Nichiren Daishonen, a 13th century Japanese Buddhist monk. The mantra is used in practice to enable people to manifest the Buddha nature inherent in their own lives and gain the strength and wisdom to challenge and overcome any adverse circumstances. I had heard of this before and bought the book that contains the Lotus Sutra and the chant that Nichiren established. I had forgotten about it. Archangel Raphael came to me in the form of Ty to remind me to use this mantra for health and healing. Everyday miracles…
Ahh.. the guitar again. Gentle acoustic strumming. Hey la la.. “Didn’t know what time it was. The lights were low. I leaned back on my radio. Some cat……” Got to listen now and shake my body. “There’s a star man waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds. He’s told us not to blow it ‘cause He knows it’s all worthwhile. Let the children use it.”
I just heard on the news this morning. A little boy shot his 4 year old sister in the chest with a gun his mom’s boyfriend left out. It was an accident. She’s dead. His sister is dead by his 5 year old hands. I’m shattered in my soul for this family. Why do we have guns?
“There’s a star man waiting in the sky he’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds. He’s told us not to blow it ‘cause he knows it’s all worth while. Let the children use it. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la”
Soulful beats…. “It Ain’t Easy” comes on. “Think about all the strange things circulating round. All the people got their problems. That ain’t nothing new. With the help of the good Lord we can hop along through. We can all pull on through. Sometimes it takes you right up and sometimes down again.”
I love this album. It’s about living life here on earth and getting over all the petty bullshit that keeps us from realizing our true divine nature. We are humans. We are physical. It ain’t easy here. We know that. Let’s go easy on each other.
Piano now. Beautiful. “Lady Stardust” begins. “People stare at the make up on his face. Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace. The boy in the bright blue jeans jumped up on the stage. He was alright. The band was all together. Yes he was alright, the song went on forever. He sang all night long.”
“Star”!!! Upbeat music….bump bump. “I could make it all worthwhile as a rock and roll star. I could make a transformation as a rock and roll star. I could make a wild mutation as a rock and roll star.” This artist, incredibly gifted with inspiration and a vision of us as something wildly free, charismatically energized reminds us we are all possible of wild transformations. What am I becoming? Now that I’m 51, what am I becoming? I can be anything…still even at this age. It’s possible. Let go of the world, let the Universe take over and drag me kicking and screaming away from my comfort zone. Embrace the inevitable, the unknown, the unforgettable. And let the transformation, the mutation begin. Let it happen to me, by God ,the angels the Universe and all that I AM, let it become me.
Wild guitars and excellent beat!! “Hang On To Yourself”.. “Well come on, well come on, we really got a good thing going…. Better hang on to yourself.” I’m dancing on my bed again. “You’re messing with the Spiders from Mars..” Yes!! I love it!! Thank you David Bowie! You give me life where there was none, only darkness, doubt and sadness. My tears count for something here. He lifts me up with his unique voice. The whole feeling that I have is of life, youth and possibilities. I turn to the table next to my bed. Hello Dahlia! My pretty flower in a purple pot that Bill and Chrissy brought me, she’s a God-send, tracking my movements and responding with an explosion of color and life. The colors of the flowers are Archangel Jophiel’s colors. Looks just like the way I see her. Pink and yellow. I bury my nose in her soft fragrant center. “Come on! We really got a good thing going”
The familiar beginnings of Ziggy Stardust begin to play. The title song, named for the creature he created. I glance down at my Droid to the video that accompanies the music. Still shots of the artist in concert stream one after the other. Look at him, David Bowie, up on stage. That hair, those eyes, that face; what a beautiful creature. Androgynous. Strange. Colorful. Unique. I remember copying a picture of him from an album cover at that time in my life when that was my only “work.” With the hair and the zig zag across his face, David Bowie is a human work of art.
Here she comes. Interrupted yet again….. nurse has got to check my vital signs. Oh well, the trip was fantastic! Thanks, David! God speed and hope to see you again in another dimension!!